Put to the Question
Answer or go on the Rack!
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
#2 - Children
Yesterday I was reading a book and the author was musing how he wanted his son to turn out: more like Bart Simpson, or more like the Flanders kids.
At first I had to just laugh. How could this even be a contest? We're talking about Bart Simpson, the coolest of the cool! He managed to piss off everyone from Bill Cosby to Barbara Bush. He could skateboard, had friends and flunkies and was charming and street-smart. The Flanders? Not any of those. Bigger nerds you'd be hard-pressed to find, and other than Ralph Wiggum, you can't come up with more loser-kids.
However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized this wasn't a question of which one YOU'D want to be, or which one you'd want to be friends with. Both of those are obvious, or should be. Heck: it's not even a question of which kid would be more fun to have around the house. It's a question of growing up, right?
Either way, the Flanders are much closer than you might think. As kids, they are infinitely more well-behaved and docile. True, sometimes a petty spirit can come out of them, and they are a bit spiritually smug, but c'mon! Compared to Bart Simpson? You'd probably be strangling Bart too, and before you blame it on Homer's rage, note that Lisa, Maggie and Marge never take any whacks.
And as for growing up, even I have to admit you have a better chance of upstanding citizens if your kid were more like Rod and Todd and less like Bart. For that matter, you have a better chance of your kid making it alive to his 21st birthday. That has to count for something, right?
All in all, it's too close for me to call. I've always loved Bart, but actually taking the question seriously, I'm no longer sure. So, I leave it up to you: Would you like your kids to be more like Bart, or more like Rod and Todd?
Answer the Question or you'll be PUT TO THE QUESTION!
At first I had to just laugh. How could this even be a contest? We're talking about Bart Simpson, the coolest of the cool! He managed to piss off everyone from Bill Cosby to Barbara Bush. He could skateboard, had friends and flunkies and was charming and street-smart. The Flanders? Not any of those. Bigger nerds you'd be hard-pressed to find, and other than Ralph Wiggum, you can't come up with more loser-kids.
However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized this wasn't a question of which one YOU'D want to be, or which one you'd want to be friends with. Both of those are obvious, or should be. Heck: it's not even a question of which kid would be more fun to have around the house. It's a question of growing up, right?
Either way, the Flanders are much closer than you might think. As kids, they are infinitely more well-behaved and docile. True, sometimes a petty spirit can come out of them, and they are a bit spiritually smug, but c'mon! Compared to Bart Simpson? You'd probably be strangling Bart too, and before you blame it on Homer's rage, note that Lisa, Maggie and Marge never take any whacks.
And as for growing up, even I have to admit you have a better chance of upstanding citizens if your kid were more like Rod and Todd and less like Bart. For that matter, you have a better chance of your kid making it alive to his 21st birthday. That has to count for something, right?
All in all, it's too close for me to call. I've always loved Bart, but actually taking the question seriously, I'm no longer sure. So, I leave it up to you: Would you like your kids to be more like Bart, or more like Rod and Todd?
Answer the Question or you'll be PUT TO THE QUESTION!
